Waiting on a Miracle

I cried today after sex (sorry dad). I am ovulating today and this will be the last time I ovulate before my second tube removal surgery. Surgery is scheduled for August, 1st. I guess I am feeling overly emotional for a couple reasons:

1) I know that this is really the last month that God could bless us with our miracle baby. Well, I guess that’s not entirely true. He’s God and God can work and perform miracles in ALL situations. I guess I just feel like since I do still technically have 1 tube (even though it’s damaged) that this is the last and only month to really get pregnant on our own.

2) It really hit me today that Mr. B and I will never have a typical story of how we had a baby. We won’t ever be able to have a baby through making love to one another and won’t have that “Surprise…We’re Pregnant”  ending to our story. Ours story will be planned, thought of, prepared for…and made in a petri dish. This makes me sad for us. This makes me sad for our story. This even makes me sad for our baby. It will never be spontaneous and out of a great night of love making (sorry again dad).

So, God…if you decide to bless us with a “surprise” pregnancy this month, before I have to go in for surgery, it would be the most welcome surprise and blessing ever! And You know without an inkling of a doubt that You would get ALL the glory! However, if this is not your plan, we will trust You, and we will be okay.


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