Making it a Journey to be Had Instead of a Goal!

September 28th, 2012

I e-mailed an acquaintance yesterday after I found out that her and husband went through IVF to get pregnant with their precious baby boy due in October. I personally don’t know many people who have gone through fertility treatments (although there are tons out there who I get to read their stories on forums), so any time I can connect with someone, anyone, who has personally walked the road, I jump at the opportunity. I asked her if she had any  knowledge, thoughts, tips, insight, encouragement, vitamins, relaxation techniques…anything! She was super sweet and open with her response. Plus, she gave me tons of great words of wisdom. Here are the top things I took away from her advice:

  • They decided they would try for maybe 6 months and if they had no luck then they would accept that it was not in the cards for them.
  • She believed the number 1 reason for their success was because they did not put pressure on themselves.
  • Don’t put  so much pressure on the ending. Make it a journey to be had instead of a “goal”.
  • Stress will only make this process more difficult — so relax!
  • Give yourself time. Don’t expect to get pregnant the first month.
  • Have a time frame and multiple tries (if you can) so that not everything is relying on that one try.
  • Don’t listen to all of the negativity around IVF. Believe, me they are there, but if you focus on that then I believe it will also cause you more stress than needed.
  • Make it a good experience! It’s up to you! It’s All in the attitude!!!

My favorite tip, “Make it a journey to be had instead of a goal”. This is what I plan to do. Everyone knows that I love to DIY! Whether I am refinishing furniture, painting a room, decorating, crafting, whatever it is…Mr. B will often remind me that I am not enjoying the process of the DIY, I am just trying to get to the end, to the finished product. And he is right. I am not going to do this with IVF! This is a journey that I am going to choose to enjoy and experience it every step of the way!

I am not scared. I mean sure, I’m scared that it won’t work, but I’m not actually scared of the process or procedures. I’m not scared of giving myself shots (I used to want to be a doctor), I’m not scared about gaining weight with the stimulation medication (I’ve actually been trying to gain 5-10 lbs), I’m not scared of the egg retrieval (being put under and a long needle used to retrieve the eggs), and I’m not scared about the egg transfer (using a catheter to place the embryo right into my uterus). I am so totally fascinated by the science of it all and the fact that we get to see our baby as a bunch of cells…how many people get to say that?! What a crazy and awesome experience this will be. This is the attitude I choose. I am going to take this an an adventure that Mr. B and I get to embark on, together. And I am going to make sure that this experience brings us closer together, makes our marriage stronger, and teaches us to rely on one another and God totally and completely…no matter what the outcome! This is what I choose!

Thanks for the words of wisdom, my wise friend 🙂


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