Frustrated

I am so frustrated with my RE right now. I had a phone call with him today to discuss my HSG report that came back showing one open tube (strange since I had a partial salpingectomy on both of them–what’s up with that?) and he was totally clueless. He first said that it was a normal result with the left showing itself closed and the right showing the tube to be open and clear (duh, that’s why I called). After a few minutes of going round-and-round I realized that he didn’t remember that I had surgery on both tubes. Hello?! If you have a call scheduled with a patient…don’t you think you should review their chart before placing that call? To give him a little credit (although I shouldn’t), we haven’t met in person since our initial consult in June…so it’s been about 5 months with a few phone consults/questions in between. But still, no matter how much time has passed betwen visits, review the frickin’ chart before you hop on the phone with a patient…especially if you are a littlE fuzzy on their individual circumstances! Not sure, but that sure seems like doc 101 training to me! After explaining a little more, and jostling his memory, he seemed to finally “remember” me and asked if I could send him both surgery reports. I told him I had already done that a month ago and he should have them in my file. I then heard him rustling through papers and reading through the surgery reports – All 20 pages of them. Again…something that should have taken place before he made the call to me and wasted my time (I was pulled over on the side of the road mind you- so I wouldn’t miss his important- or not so important as it turns out- call). Then, to top it all off I couldn’t get ahold of any of his nurses today and I had questions regarding my medication order. Ugh! I wanted to scream…

I’ve always been fascinated by medicine and wanted to be a doctor for most of my life. Heck, I still do. I kept thinking, wow, I’d run things so much differently and I’d be so much better with people. I’d make sure I knew each and every case and patient I was dealing with (not every single detail at all times…but the important details) and make them feel like a real person and not just a number. Maybe I should go back to school and become a dr by the age of 45?!

Sorry for the rant…It was just a super frustrating day!!! Just hoping they do what they are trained to do and we end up with a baby at the end of this. Then they will be forgiven and all will be worth it!

~ xoxo, Mrs. B

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5 thoughts on “Frustrated

  1. I think your frustrations are totally valid. I was experiencing the same type of thing…always having to remind my RE of my circumstances and always having a back and forth of sort. We just never really agreed on things, because I felt I knew my body and she WAS NOT listening. My husband even witnessed her mistakes, so I know it wasn’t just me going crazy. We finally decided to change RE’s, and although it was a tough decision, we are SO GLAD we did. My new RE takes time to review my chart, has enough experience to make good decisions even if he’s rushed, and it just feels right. Not saying you should switch, but reading your post I just know that feeling of “It shouldn’t have to be this hard.” I just wanted you to know you are right, it shouldn’t be and it doesn’t have to be.

    • Thanks Emily! I think the same thing…as hard and as complicated as infertility is…the people part of it should be easy! The funny thing is, we met with one other RE at the tune of a $250 consult, and although I liked him for some reasons, overall, I liked our current RE (the one we chose) the best. Granted, we only met with 2, mainly because I didn’t want to keep spending the $250-$300 consult fee (and would rather put that money towards treatment), when hopefully, they all knew what they were doing and could give me the same result in the end…a baby. I just figured instead of going crazy interviewing tons of different RE’s, I just needed to choose one and trust in him and God that we would be blessed. I naively thought this would be the least stressful and time consuming approach. I am finding however, that the more you have to repeat yourself, and the more that you just feel like a number, the more stressful and time consuming this process becomes. And that, is NOT worth saving $250 on another consult!

      • I hear you! When we switched we wondered if we’d like the next RE or if we’d keep hopping around from dr. to dr. I kind of wondered, “Is it like this no matter who I see? Is it just me being super Type A?” Luckily it only took 2 RE’s to find the perfect one. Even when interviewing them though, I don’t think you can truly know how they operate until you are officially a patient under their care, so it’s just a tough one. If there is another RE in the same practice they may not charge you another consult fee to switch within the practice (That’s what we did). However, you are right…it’s not worth saving $250 if you wake up everyday feeling like something is not right. Listen to your heart and your instincts!

  2. Yikes! I’m sorry your doctor wasn’t up to speed on YOU! That would frustrate me to no end! I hope he was just having a rough day and maybe the next time you see or talk to him he handles it a lot better! Good luck!

    • Yeah, it was pretty frustrating. I figured maybe he was super busy and our “scheduled” phone time came at an inconvenience. Although I’m sure he didn’t intend to make me feel that way…it totally did. And the fact that I can never get ahold of my coordinator or his nurse…don’t get me started. I just asked my husband today if he thought they are really that busy over there. And then that made my heart sad. They probably are, and that means there are tons of other women going through this infertility nightmare with me. I’m sure my RE is trying his very best. And hey, if he is too busy to really give me time on the phone because he is too busy knocing some other women up…I am totally okay with that. As long as he knocks me up in a few weeks too:-)

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