Well, we got the call this morning at 7 am that we were waiting for from Dr. K. He told us that our 3 embryos were looking “good” but they were a bit slow growing. In order to push them out to day 5, he would have liked to see them at 8-10 cells at this stage. All 3 of ours were 4 cell as of this morning. Not bad, just a bit behind. He recommended once again that we come in today for the transfer. We asked him if he had seen viable pregnancies come from 4 cell 3 day transfers and he said, “Many.” We wanted to make sure that we weren’t transferring just to transfer, and were perfectly fine cancelling the cycle at this point if he didn’t think they were good enough quality. He assured us that he has seen less advanced embryos than ours become healthy full term pregnancies. We trust Dr. K and his 20 some years of experience, so we hopped in the car and headed down to Pasadena a couple hours later. Att 11 am, we transferred all three beautiful embies.
When we first got there, Dr. K gave us both a hug and let us know that he was sorry that things hadn’t progressed as planned, but there was still hope. He showed us picture of our embryos and went over the grading of them. He said that the nice thing about the embryos are that the 4 visible cells in each of them are all similar sizes. This is a good thing. He also said that they had very little fragmentation (fragmentation can occur as the cells split). The embryologist had graded one at a 4 (excellent) and two at a 3 (good).
Here is a picture of our embies on board:
It was kind of amazing to witness the embryos being placed into my uterus. As soon as I undressed and Dr. K prepped me, the embryologist came in with a long catheter that contained our potential babies. Dr. K inserted the catheter and we were able to see a cloud of white solution shoot out into my uterus. It was quite amazing. The embryos are so small that you aren’t able to see them with the naked eye, but the solution that surrounded them was completely visible. Then, the embryologist took the catheter back and checked it under a microscope to make sure that none of the embryos had got stuck and failed to make it out. All was clear, and literally, we were done in less than 5 minutes. It was so much faster and less complicated than I had anticipated. I rested and laid down for about 30 minutes before we were ready to go. Before we left, I kissed Scott and thanked him for “knocking me up” today. We both felt totally at peace with our decision, how the day and cycle had gone, and told God that the rest was in his hands.
Although things aren’t looking to be in our favor right now, I am still hopeful. I am hopeful that this is going to work. I just keep repeating, “This worked and I am pregnant.” Still hopeful even though this entire cycle hasn’t gone as planned. I was thinking the other night, that some of the greatest things that have come out of my life so far are the things that I hadn’t planned, anticipated, or even went remotely as I’d hoped. When I became a single mom at age 20, I thought my life was over. I didn’t know how I was going to do it. I was angry at myself, angry at God, angry at my boyfriend, angry at the damn birth control I was on, and just plain angry at the world. I was so young and had dreamed of going off to college with my friends to be a cheerleader at a big university. But I’ll tell you something, that little girl, my 11 year old daughter. She has been the very best thing that has ever happened to me. She has blessed my life more than I could have ever anticipated. This was one area of my life that had definitely not gone as planned…but God knew and had His hand in it all along. I am hoping this will be the same. This journey has definitely not gone as planned, not even close. But I feel God near, and I know that He has bigger and better things planned for us than I can even imagine right now. He can and will make this happen, if it’s in His will. I am holding onto that hope and promise.
I am officially on bed rest till the end of the weekend with just light activity and moving about. I have been resting, getting pampered, and watching tons of bad (but oh so good) Lifetime Movies today :-). On Monday I will be able to resume normal but lighter activity. Beta is scheduled for 12/27.
Family & friends ~ Please pray that one of these little embies will snuggle in tight and start growing big and strong. Pray that these next 2 weeks will be filled with peace and patience for Scott and I as we wait to find out if one (or more) of these amazing embryos will be our long awaited and prayed for baby. Also pray that no matter the outcome of this, that we will remain positive, hopeful, closer than ever, and above all, praise God no matter what.
Thanks for all your love and support,
xoxo – Mrs. B